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| Long distance Love |
| by Barbara |
late in 1999, I got my first computer at the age of 42. I spent many hours on it, surfing the net, games, then I discovered chat rooms. Living in the very North of Scotland - this whole new world was opened up to me. I realised you could chat to people from all over the world, and came across some weird and wonderful beings. Becoming a regular down 'Moonlit Bay' I began to know the people on there, their lives and situations. I started chatting to one person in particular, we were guarded for a while (as you are), but something in his messages to me were more interesting than any of the others. I began to look for him each time I was on, and he said the same. We began to arrange times when we could be on line together, and managed to get secrecy so that it was just me and him.
Further chatting and stories - it came out that he was married with 3 children- still with his wife, and I was married too - with 2 boys. We knew this was wrong, but the pull of each others illicit company was too much. then came the first phone call. I was so nervous, I took the day off work so that i could phone his phone at about 12 noon. that was it. From that day we fell in love gradually, and the pain began as we realised that we could and should'nt continue. but life being life, we did'nt stop. He stays in the south of england with a high powered job, and I had my life here.
We arranged to meet, and I had to lie (as well as him) to our respective families about our meeting.
that was the best day of my life. Emotions were overflowing, and both of us lost ourselves in each other. I realised how much I wanted to be with him, but the fear of upsetting other people around us kept us from being totally abandoned. Over the years we have met when ever possible. I got a job which allowed me to travel on business and that gave us the chance to make beautiful memories, see special places, have a history.... we talk every day on the phone, holidays and xmas are nightmares, Love can make you so very happy, but so very, very sad. I see people in relationships who are so very happy, and I envy every single one of them. I miss my lover so much, but we are soul mates, it is so strange how a computer can disrupt your life, but yet it allows you to open your heart without being prepared. My lover and I try everything in our power to steal any time together, we are always plotting and dreaming of what we would do - where we would go, how we would do things together, so if anyone reads this - I pray you are happy with your loved one, because being in love, and the person not with you - is a continuos ache in your heart. We have been together now for 7 years, and will always be together. who knows? fate may deal us our share of true happiness on day. |
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