I met my first g/f about six to seven months ago in college. It was just a few months before school was over for the summer. I keep her my secret love, from most of my friends. And from my family. Why? because I'm a lesbian and not everyone out there knows that. Not even my own family. And I don't look forward to telling them either. All I can tell them is, "I'm never going to get married!" It's sad, oh I know; but society is hectic. Sometimes it's best to live the hard way, secretively. My g/f lives in Europe and I in the God blessed United states of America:) We've never met before; only online and a few times on the phone. Here I am sitting on the computer, where all the memories of how I met her appear. I'm going to write this wonderful online, long distance love story of mine, hoping the world enjoys it.
On this earth, somewhere, someone must fall in love. It does not have to be a first kiss or crush. Somewhere, someone on earth must fall in love somehow. As for me, I felt in love on line, and for the very first time. Before I met my sweetheart, I didn't know what to think. I was always sad and lonely, just deeply in need for love. I would go to sleep crying at night, asking God to please bring someone into my life. I needed someone to simply tell me, they love me. I never knew that chatting on yahoo messenger(YM) could bring me my first love. I had met several of other people before, just playing around. I phoned them, they phoned me. However, I didn't see seriousness to building a relationship with them. As I continously search for the one, I came across finding a name of a girl, E, with her picture on profile. There was not much to know but that her picture was beautyful, she was perfect. Just by looking at her picture, I could tell what kind of person she was. I looked at the picture and automatically thought, " She has a great personality, she's clean, loving, beautyful, delicious, amazing, fun, kind, romantic, just about all the great qualities my heart always need in a relationship" I went ahead and started to chat with her. And there she was, everything that I dreamed of her to be. Day by day, I would log onto YM. And every time that she was online, I chatted with her. I couldn't bear to just sit there typing "friendly" type of words anymore....I wanted this relationship to be more than friendship. I would go to sleep thinking everyday, "how do I get her to be with me?" I never wanted her to go after chatting, I mean even seeing the words she had typed come to me, was incredibly amazing. It was love at first sight, as to what most people refer to as first love. Again, I could not bear, holding back how I felt anymore. Everyday, I gave her compliments and in return I received them. I had never felt this way before, not for any one. Finally, I was tired of not being true to my feelings so I went ahead and brought out the question, "would you be my my g/f?" And in return, she said, "yes!" I just could not believe it! I could not believe that I would have someone to love and love me in return. Someone to tell me those three wonderful little words, "I love you!" This time, I went to bed, with smiles and dreams of my first love. It was incredibly amazing. Furthermore, until this day, we're still together and living in love. Although, oceans apart from one another. We have never met. Still, our love seem to be the greatest love there is to know and have. I feel very, very blessed to have her. I'm extremely happy. One might ask, "how do you sexually keep her satisfied, you're so far away?" Well, when she and I met, we both agreed to have a long distance relationship. She told me that just because we live far from each other does not mean we couldn't be together. And I felt the same way. The only thing is, I worry that she might feel lonely at times. Everyday I try to give her all of my power, to keep her happy. I write her romantic emails and poems. I'm not good at writing love poems or any type of poetry, however, I just try and express my feelings as much as possible. Seeing her on YM was always the best! When she and I would not chat for a long time, we always missed each other so much. I cannot express enough, how happy I am to have her in my life, am so happy. I had asked her for her phone number over the summer and phoned her later when I had left for college. It's so hard to be able to call her everyday. The phone card is very expensive in this country. Furthermore, not everyone, (like my dorm roommate) knows about her and I. Rememebr, I'm very personal when it comes to relationships. Usually, I call her when my roommate is home for the weekend... to keep her from finding out. Or, she probably already did, since I keep an online diary. E, my love:) told me she was going to send me her picture in the mail. I'm really looking forward to that. It'd be so great having a photo of her in my hands. I would take it everywhere I go and keep it right next to my bed. I LOVE HER SO MUCH!! So there everyone:) That is all I have to write about my love story! I shall go now and dream about her. Dream that hopefully one day we will meet. I want to meet her so bad, you have no idea. Anyway, have a safe life.
-love4E |
