|A New Love For Life|
|I would like to start of this real story saying YOU MUST READ THIS if you ever felt like you needed a little inspiration to get through life.|
BACKGROUND ON ME:
I have been through so many situations, just like you.
I have cryed, been angry, depressed, delt with a brother with a emotional disease, loosing my family through alcohol and abandonment, experienced death of a loved one, been used and done the using.I say this inorder to express to you the depth of my realness.
NOT A COUNSELLOR< JUST LIVING PROOF:
I am not one of those people who cryed over something little, than became some miracle worker.I have experienced many difficult situations which I choose not to reveal incase someone I know reads this.
SERIOUS NOTE ON ME:
When I was 14 years old, I died. I refer to myself as dead meaning, I figuritivly was alive but mentally, emotionally, spiritaully I was dead. I didn't know what it was like to laugh when you were happy, and cry when something was sad. Inside what I was feeling controlled my life. I didn't eat cause I was hungry, I didn't have sex cause I was in love, I did it because I thought thats what I was supposed to do. It wasn't a year of my life I was suffereing from depression but many years.
AVOIDING SUICIDE: deep down inside what kept me to love myself enough not to slit my wrist was acknowledging who I was before this mess all happened. I thought of all the love people had for me, and my many beautiful qualities prior to my death.
I knew who I was at the time wasn't who I always was, andone time I kept telling myself I will wake up. I hadn't loved myself a heck of a lot but I realized it wasn't me, who made me depressed. It was the enviroment and one day I would wake up. One day I will be someone again.
taking anti-depressants, going to church, exercising, trying to make something of myself and nothing worked. I would be ok for a week, but than something would happen again and I would fall right back down.I wanted to be in a relationship because without one I didn't feel important. I turned to sex, and men to determine my moods, which began to create its own problem.
I FOUND A NORTH STAR:
In the bible when the people got lost they turned to a north star when they needed direction, so I thought to myself
What keeps me going when I get lost? I relaized it was my DREAMS that made me keep going. the dream to be free from this death.
THE JOURNEY TO LIFE WAS AHEAD
I dont know exactly what happened that made me get better, I didn't just wake up and say today is the first day of the rest of my life. it just begain to turn around.I accepted everything in my life, and realized it made me who I am. A stronger more open minded woman. But I cannot stress to you enough how much this will help you. I guarantee.
looking at things in a new way.
If you can do that, learn to believe the new ways, put them to use, and eventually you will be cured.
LOOKING AT THINGS IN A NEW WAY
what I mean by this is so simple but it makes such a big deal.
looking at a glass as half full, instead of half empty.
That really means something. There really is a meaning behind that old saying.
It made a toll on my life.
Listen to the words you feed your brain
notice how many time you say negative messages to yourself, and how critical you can be to others.
Instead of speaking before you think, talk less, and listen more.
You will gain more from listening, and others gain more from talking.
Notice the way other ppl make negative comments frequeantly, acknoweldging there words, will encourage you to be more positive.
Appreciate yourself for whatever you may be. Love your body shape, big or small, love it, and appeciate your every feature, talent, uniqueness, and make yourself more noticeble for you.
Do not try to be anyone else, you are much more beautiful loving and being you.
every negative comment about yourself replace it with. I am a worthy person, until you believe it.
Realize that not everyone will like you, and thats life. Who cares, be you, and talk to those who do like you, and forget those who dont
People who dont like you, are just a waste of your energy and time.
If love is your problem of difficulty remeber this in your next relationship. If you build a relationship for love, you will fail. If you take it slow, and appreciate the time you are spending, and not how much more you will spend, you will enjoy the others company. If you just worrying about tomorrow, you are not going to enjoy today.
If you hate the way you look ask yourself why.
Understand that we are not all supposed to look a certain way.
were your ex boyfriends perfect? did you love them regardless? Didn't you love the little meat he had around his waist? Or the way his hair stuck up in the morning? YOu loved him, for him. enjoy the beauty and difference in your look. dont forget to spend time and think, set goals, but never plan. Plans are either broken or dont go as expected, just take each day, and live for the moment.
PLease email me if you liked my poem or if you need to talk. I love to help, and listen and I am not a counsellor, not out of a book, but, out of my living situations.
I wrote this late at night, sorry I didn't check over my spelling or grammar. It is my message that is important, not my spelling:)