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| My Second Chance |
| by Crystal Moody |
| Well this is all how it started out...I was very much in love with a boy named Roger. We spent every moment possible together. But yet my parents had a problem. Your probably asking why would they have a problem with that. Well they had a problem because of skin color. It was like my parents and I saw two different things when we looked at Roger. All I saw was this great guy who was so good to me and that treated me like his princess, but on the otherhand my parents saw a black boy. All I could ask was why couldn't they just see him for what he really was instead of what his color was. My parents wouldn't do that, they couldn't. The only thing they wanted to do was to lowerate me and put me down and make me feel like nothing. And that's exactly what they did. It became such a big problem with all of us. It was as if we had all been torn apart, even me and Roger. Not soon after did I become very depressed. I felt as if I nothing to look forward to, and I felt so alone, and no one understood me but Roger. And my parents did everything in their will to make sure I didn't talk to him. So I felt alone with no one there to understand and comfort me. I felt that I needed to die to relieve myself from all the pain I felt. I loved my parents but I also loved Roger and I didn't want to lose neither one of them over this. So I figured killing myself was my way out. Therefore one night I layed in bed at my best friends house and decided on how I was going to do it. I was scared at first, trembling all over, but I knew I had to or pain and heartache was all I would feel. Then the idea popped in my head of OD on pills, and I decided that was how I was going to do. The next morning I woke up and made my way to the medicine cabinet while no one was watching. I took 10 blood pressure pills prescribed to my best friends dad, 9 Bayer Asprins, 2 Tylenol, a Zoloft, and like 8 of some other medicine I didn't even know and never even heard of. I didn't really care neither because the idea was stuck in my mind and after taking those pills there was no turning around. About 10 minutes later my best friend realized that I had done something so she ran and got her mom and told her she thought something was wrong. Then her mom called my mom and my mom came rushing over. They asked what I did and I told them and they called 911 because I wouldn't go to the hospital willingly. The ambulance arrived and they took me to the hospital. I remember laying there with an IV in my arm, about a 6 ft tube going through my nose down my throat into my stomach. Talking about uncomfortable oh it was alright. I also remember them hooking a heart monitor up to my chest while in which they were pouring black charcoal down the tube. It made me gage and feel so quesy at my stomach. I was there for about 3 hours just laying there looking around at my family standing there by myside. Holding me and crying with me and feeling every inch of pain I was feeling. I was scared at that moment and I realized I didn't want to die, and I realized that God didn't want me to. I also know that he would never have forgave me for that but I think him for giving me another opportunity to make things right and turn my life around. Even after I left the hospital I was still depressed and didn't want to be around my parents. But for some unsensable reason I had so much hatred towards them built up inside me. I soon came to my senses and decided to turn my life around with my parents by myside. They made me make a decision between them and Roger. As a result I didn't have Roger there but I know he understands. Deep down inside a part of me will never forgive my parents for making me make such a dramatic decision at such an awkard and hard time but I know it was for the best. As for all that I learned with my experience I hope by me sharing it with you it will help you learn something to...I also learned this not everyone gets a second chance at life's game but God gave me one and I thank him for that dearly. So do the same if you feel as if you are to that point to where you can't take anymore don't think like I did. Be wiser and smarter just pray to God to help you and he will. He works in mysterious ways but he'll work miracles for you. Believe in that...this is a true story so please listen to what I said and take it to the heart and not only through one ear and out the other. |
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