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| I'll never know |
| by Farey |
I saw him walking into the class in the middle of the month. i went to greet him because he was new to in our class. i asked him his name after i introduced mine and he said he was Ian. everytime we meet, in the hallway or in the room or everywhere, i smile and say "Hi classmate!Ryan, right?" and he would wave his ID and nod and say "YUP!" little did he know i slowly fell for him but i, myself didn't knew that. we became the closest of friends. everytime he's absent or late, i always demand an explanation and he readily gives me one. i even made him promise to never be absent nor late again. we talk everything under the sun. we were groupmate in one of our class. everytime there's a practice we stay close together. i lean on him when im tired, i even lie on his lap. one day he came up to me and said... "YOU'RE THE GREATEST GIFT I HAVE HAD. THANKS FOR BEING THERE. HOPE WE'LL STAY THIS WAY ALWAYS!." God, i want to scream and shout and tell everyone what he told me. i felt myself blush and felt falling for him. but there's a twist to this. he have a girlfriend. he always tells me things that breaks my heart. how he loves her...how she looks... how she makes his day complete...(do you get the picture?)well... i knew this all along but still my heart keep on loving him. i didn't mind it. one day, his friends started teasing us. they said Ryan had told them that he likes me because im nice and i have a good heart and voice and other stuff... of course i didn't believe that. but more likely i want to believe that i didn't though in my heart i did. i know this feeling would lead me to heartaches but still i kept on loving him. But then he started avoiding me. he glances my way averytime but never take the time for me to lock my eyes with him. he doesn't talk to me anymore. we were not the way who we used to be. i hated his friends as much as i hated him. but i hate myself more for hating him who had done nothing wrong but be close to me... BE A FRIEND TO ME. i love him so much that i'm willng to give up all hopes of us together just to be his friend again... just for him to cast that smile back at me. how i want to tell him i love him... how i want to shout it out for the world to see that im saving all my love for him... i want to hear him say he likes me... he needs me... he loves me... but i guess i'll never know.
Ryan, im willing to give up the hopes and dreams that i have for us... just to be who i was to you... just for us to be who we were before... close...
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