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| You Are On My Mind |
| by Tristian |
My dearest Lawrence,
When I saw you for the first time, sitting in the pub, so handsome and secure, I was amazed that my heart could still beat that hard, you were the most handsome gentleman my heart had laid eyes on in a very long time. Before being with you, I had heard of passion and love and seen it in movies; never dreamed that kind of emotion would ever come to me.
I still remember the way you made me tingle with your handsome honest smile. I knew from the first words spoken between the two of us, that things were never going to be the same for me anymore, and that I was going to have to sort out these mysterious feelings that I was having. We had to have time with one another again to help me understand what was happening to me. I needed to figure out how it was that you were able to cast such a spell over me. Then you took me out for dinner; after our first dinner together, I knew I would be vexed and perplexed by you until we'd seen each other once again.
After spending time you, I now know how real passion and love can be. You have opened my heart, and opened the gate to a new world for me. Did you know you had such a power?
My life is starting to become so different, even if my days seem the same. And I must confess that it's you who has changed my outlook. You have opened my eyes to some amazing new possibilities. I will forever be filled with a new sense of wonder and joy, because you have shared yourself with me.
I must confess that in some ways I feel inadequate. My mind is questioned; can I match your gentleness? Can I give you feelings as warm and secure as the ones you have bestowed on me? You have chosen to show me such strong passion combined with secure sweet affection, that I can only hope with time you feel a glimpse of the same emotions from me.
After getting to know you better, and going through all the tough times together in this year that has made us stronger, I now know I am in a place I have never been before. I'm in a place that is calm and serene, but exciting and exhilarating, all at the same time. This place is neither a state of mind, nor just one of physical being. It is a place where my soul soars. It is a place I share with you.
I'm in a place where, my mornings begin with you in my thoughts, and my days end with you in my mind. I'm in a place where, when good things happen, my first reaction is that I'm excited, because I'll get to share them with you. I'm in a place where, when bad things happen, I know that you'll be there to provide comfort and make the world right again with a your simple honest smile, or with your soft caress of my hand.
This place that I hold in my heart for you is precious beyond words. You are there, and I am a better woman because of it. When you hold me in your arms, I'm in a place that I never want to leave, and I pray it is a place I never have to leave. Just know that when you hold me in your arms, I am in the safest, most treasured place in the world.
The place that I am in now is the best of all. I see you as someone I can trust, confide in, play with and enjoy life with. You make me so happy. I can't begin to describe how you really make me feel so I will offer just this: I love you.
The sea that parts us when you work is my enemy, but I gaze at the moon and ask it to reflect my love back to you so far away. You are the answer to my passion and my dreams. I live for seeing you again, for being whole with you again. Now that you have given me the gift of your love, my appetite for you is endless. Your touch is so gentle, your kisses so delicious, and your body is so strong when you hold me. When I am with you, the world goes away. I feel only you. I breathe only you. I sense only you. Our time together is very special to me. There are very few moments that a woman knows will linger with her for the rest of her life, and you have already given me many. Thank you for being such an extraordinary part of my life. I hope we will continue this journey together for a long time to come.
I miss you, my love. I look to June as the only page on the calendar that is my friend, because that is when I will be in your arms again. Please forgive my foolish words and girlish heart. Accept them as tokens of the emotions you inspire in me. I will wait anxiously to be with you again. Until then you are in my heart, and in my mind, and I will ache until your return, with a yearning that can only be satisfied by your loving arms and warm kisses.
Ever dreaming about you, my best friend with benefits,
Tristian |
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