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| I will be missing you... |
| by Sokol Lahi |
It has been a while since the last day together, but for me it seems like years. I never thought that the end of all our moments of love, deep and passionately emotions, our memories, our smiles and funny things together, our fights, our jokes, our fight with the world to find some peace and time for each-other, every sweet and salt moment, falling tears, hurts and delights between us, would have an end like this. We crashed every wall between us, made miles of way together, passed through a lot of pain, hurts and torture just to stay with each-other. Every night i sleep in the bed we sleeped together. In every place i go, there is a sign of you. Do you how hard is that? Can you imagine how many memories are still alive? I dont know how could you forget everything so easily. Could 2 years of memories be so easily deleted? I dont think so. One day you will understand that those feelings are still there, just you got some smoke in your eyes and your feelings were hide somewhere. Hope you will realize what you have really missed...
I never thought I will miss you that much. I remember every piece of the story, and I lived the 23 July every day... The first day. The first kiss. So emotionally. So deep. So unknown. But that kiss will be lately the most meaningful thing of my life. It was like my breath. Without that kiss I just cant breath anymore. Your smile put me out of dark. When I was thinking love doesn’t exist anymore, you showed it to me. And I used to love you more than everything. But now, after 2 years, the time has just stopped. The sand-clock is dropped on the floor and is broken. It happened just when I was changing its direction to make it never stop. To start over and over again. It was the fault of my hands. I was thinking of you and forgot to be carefull. I tried to clue the pieces together again, but it doesn’t work. Everything is so broken. I’m broken. The kiss has gone. The smile is now only a memory. You left forever, your love has been gone. Just disappeared. Just so far away. And is being too quiet here without you. You left me alone… Without asking me...
Now the whole world is against me. You are against me. Everything seems so different. So strange and so unbelievable. Empty. I don’t know my world anymore. I feel like a spectator to this tragic and ordinary world. Enclosed by some strange faces, graven with some artificial smiles, and i know what they want from me... They want me to loose you completely, even emotionally. They want to kill all my memories. But im not scared. So i used to fight them... Alone this time. You left me alone in this war. They are too much, but I got power to fight them. The love for you gives me force to face them. And i will fight them until the shield of my heart will be broken. Then the dark will come...
I wanted to say you stay with me, but you have gone before i could open my mouth. You missed it. You missed the words I Love You! I tried to say it hard, screaming, maybe so you could hear it. Everybody else heared that, except you. Everybody can hear the voice of a man in love begging you to stay. Its such a voice of full truth but it seems you can’t and wont hear that voice anymore... Now there is a big wall between us. A strong wall. And every day it seems like you are putting another stone on that wall. And i cant get through it. Even if i tried. Someone else took my place in your paradise and closed the door of your heart. Now I’m still the stranger you knew once upon a time. I have lost you forever. I realized that, that day was the last time i could see you. That i have lost a piece of my spirit. I wish that this is my worstest dream, and than after one moment, you will come to wake me up and give me that kiss I’m missing from so many times, and tell me that you are there again for me, holding my hands after being away for a while. Every moment I keep looking at my door, watching at every body's face, but none of them is you. I didn’t take at least a piece of your smile before going away. I couldn’t even have a last kiss. If i could bring back the time...
All i have from you now is only a picture. It reminds me of our happy times together. It is the smile you always used to give me. If i could only for one moment see you smile at me again... If I could have that kiss one more time… But i know it won’t happen. At least i know that as long as that picture will exist, my memories wont be sweeped for a long time. And i keep it so strong with me. No-one can touch it, even see it. I still keep reminding the sweet of your kisses, the smile that gave me life and i keep hopping i will find you somewhere, before that feeling melts forever. You have been my strongest emotion, my deepest thoughts, my sweetest dream, my meaning, my love, my paradise. I use the last word so much, because if it really exist, it was the real one. I wish I could hold you in my arms just for one last moment, like before. I wish you were here... For a last dance before everything becomes so dark...
Thanks for giving me the pleasure of loving you. Thanks for being my everything, even for a while... I will be missing you... |
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