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| My Unintented |
| by Jessica |
It wasn’t a while since the person I’ve liked for months, Jeremy, admitted to liking me at the beach three weeks earlier, after I backed him into a corner of questions that rose from his cryptic answers and comments about how he knew someone liked me. And since then, we never did much other than go to the beach after school, and climb the boulders and rocks and watch the waves crash in the bitter coldness. He always wrapped his arms around me and I cuddled closer to him, taking all the warmth I could get from his slender body. It was so relaxing, having him holding me as we watched the pale waves crash against the rocks below us. And everyday, I had a stronger urge to kiss him, to feel his lips on mine. I had never known what it felt like before and I was afraid, I didn’t know how to go about it or when or if he wanted to kiss me. Because he never seemed to push me into anything I wasn’t comfortable doing. He told me how comfortable he was with me, how if can tell me most things he couldn’t even tell his best friends. That we have so much in common with each other, and we get along so well. And all of this made me want him more. But he never kissed me.
A day or two after that, my parents had a serious fight and I was scared and alone. My parents were fighting and it escalated to screaming and hitting. I tried to defend my mom from my father and he hit me and yelled at me. The tears swelled up when I saw the fear in my mother’s eyes as she told me to call the police. I was too scared to so I called my older brother. The next day, I was distant and semi-anti-social. I didn’t tell any of my friends what had happened and for a brief part of the day, I forgot how to be me. It seemed like a looming shadow threatening to consume me. After school, instead of going to the beach, we went to his house since no one was home. Jeremy puts on some of our favorite music and played guitar as we talked while I laid on his bed horizontally. He saw how distant I’ve been and asked me what was wrong. I told him “I’ll tell you but I don’t want you to worry.” He laid beside me and put his arm under my neck and stared intently at me. As I started talking I couldn’t bare to look at him and my voice started quivering. As I told him the sensitive parts he hugged me with a squeeze and said “I’m so sorry. Why do bad things always happen to good people?” When I told him my father hit me, it shocked him that things were so serious and he squeezed me even harder, and said, “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
I hadn’t realized I was crying until Jeremy looked at me with sadness and wiped one gently from the hollow of my eye. He lowered his head and kissed me so tenderly on my cheek that I thought I imagined it. I felt awkward and froze then he dug his face in my hair as he hugged me. I just listened to the songs and realized that “Love Will Tear Us Apart” by Joy Division was playing. He lifted his head and look at me with admiration again and I smiled at him as best I could. Then he lowered his head to my lips and pecked them so lightly and tenderly, and looked back at me with a smile. I was shocked, I didn’t know what had just happened. We looked at each other for a longer moment and he came closer and kissed me again but he lingered on my lips. I looked at him again and smiled dazedly and he lowered his head again to kiss me and this time I opened my mouth for him. He moved his mouth over mine and it felt thrilling yet subduing as I felt his full moist lips on mine. The skin of his lips were soft like satin and they were irresistible. I wasn’t sure what I was doing but I calmed myself and enjoyed the kiss. Then “Unintended” by Muse, our most-favorite band played and I broke the kiss and laughed. It was appropriate for the mood and what I always imagined both of us kissing to. Needless to say, he made my bad day and any other previous one better with the touch of his lips and I appreciate everything he’s done for me and more he doesn’t even know. |
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