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| cant have what you always want |
| by Tidus |
Well, i dont date much because girls find me boring so i avoided dating for as long as i can remember. I have many admirers, but i dont want to experience getting dump left and right so i haven't dated for over 2 years. Now i'm a junior in highschool. About 2 years back, at a party i saw this girl. I didnt know who she was so some of my buddies introduce me to her. She's very pretty (my friends and I agree) and wasnt seeing anybody. This was my chance, my chance to redeem myself, but being the wuss that i was, i chickened out and just kind of said "Hi". Right at that moment i knew i wanted her, but why was i born such a coward. That was why all of my ex-girlfriends dumped me, i couldnt express my feelings to them. I told my buddies that i liked her. Somehow words got around and she found out. To my luck a slow song was played. My buddies kept forcing me to go ask her to dance, but i was to coward. Then out of no where she pops up and ask me if i would like to have a dance with her. Gosh, i almost passed out. I couldnt believe it, the girl of my dreams was standing there asking me to go dance with her. Well, i couldnt refuse, so i said "yes". We stepped into the dance floor and she placed her arms around my neck. By this time i was about to just turn into goo and sink away. My arms felt like rubber, but i manage to put them around her waist. She asked me a few questions like if i was seeing anybody or if i liked anybody. My mind was being such a retard, i had to think out every question before answering. I told her i wasnt seeing anybody and that i didnt like anybody except this one girl. There was a moment of silence and then she tighten her arms around me, bringing me closer to her. Oh man was i sweating. My heart was probably going 100 mile per hour. God bless deodorant. I also tighted my arms around her waist. I wanted so much to grab her ass, but i tried not to think about it. After what seemed like the longest and best moment of my life, the song ends. She went back to her friends and i went back to my friends. I was congratulated for not wussing out. I didnt see her during the rest of the night. We ended going home, but still i didnt see her. I was dissappointed that i didnt ask her for her number. Man was i dumb. Fortunatly, one of my friend knew one of her friend, so he got me the number within the next few days. One problem exist with me and calling girls. I cannot find the courage to call up a girl. From some of her friends, they told me that she really wanted me to call her, but i was to coward, i didnt like the feeling of rejection. Plus, i didnt believe them. I mean come on, would a pretty girl like that ever fall a guy like me. Maybe for my looks, but my pussyness hid away my looks. Well, a year pass and i havent called her yet. I still cant find the courage to call her. Within that 1 year, i dated about 4 girls. I didnt want to date them, but i guess i was too nice to reject them. Those relationships didnt last very long. All of them ended up with them breaking up with me because i was boring. Deep down inside, i still couldnt stop thinking about that girl.
Another year pass by and now i'm a junior in highshool. One day i was out with my friends and to my surprise, one of her friend was dating my friend, and that girl that i've been having endless dreams about just happens to be with her. i was soo happy that i have seen her again. I guess she still remembers me because she coudnt keep her eyes off me and same goes for me. I couldnt keep my eyes off her, but i couldnt tell her that i still liked her. I was too afraid of rejection. After that day and so on, i would encounter her once in a while. I never talk to her because i didnt have courage, but i think she liked me. She always looks at me. Not a hating look, but one that you can tell right away that person likes you. One day, i build up a little courage and went up to one of her friends. I asked her if that girl (the one i liked) was seeing anybody. To my dissappointment, she was seeing somebody. I was soo angry at myself. If only i wasnt such a wuss, i would have gotten her. Now i dont have a chance. All i have is hope that she still likes me and that one day i will get to be her boyfriend. The only thing that gives me hope is that everytime i see her, she always stares at me like she wants me. For a guy like me i guess all i can do is have patience and see what happens. But damn, patience is something i dont have. |
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