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You are Here: Home > Love Stories > Second Chances > Love...Falling In and Out of It

Love...Falling In and Out of It
by praey and margie
I have never been in a serious relationship but I know how it feels to be in love. To be in love is like when you could hear your heart beat faster, pumping blood throughout your body. The feeling to be in love is when you could really feel that there’s no danger around you. To be in love, you look like the happiest girl on earth. I never really told anyone when I’m seriously in love with someone because I know how love goes…it goes in circles, humps, bumps, cracks, puddles…and I fear risking someone. Making decisions is my most puzzling moment. One wrong move and I may lose everything.

Ah…to be young and in love. How I wish I knew. If I were to tell you the truth…I don’t think I’ll be able to know that kind of love. What’s more is that—I think love is so unfair. It’s as simple as that. I just don’t understand why love has to be that way. When you’re searching for it, it hides…when you have it, it runs away; and when you don’t want it, it comes. Should it really be that way? Should I be even a little bit happy for it? That’s the whole point. That’s the reason I’m afraid to fall in love. I don’t know if you actually believe what I’m saying here. For other people you might think of me as a person who hates love. I just—I just think I’ll be as lonely as I am…right now.

Well…you could never blame love when it hurts. And you could never ever stop love from coming to your heart. Love may hurt, love may be confusing, but no one could change the fact that love could be fun and exciting, too. Love could bring you tears but also tears of joy. Love could make you want to commit suicide when the pressure’s too much. But taking your life away wouldn’t change anything about that at all. Tears wouldn’t take the past back. Why does it hurt? Because of your love for him. Why do we cry? Because you think about him. Why do you fight? Because you two are different, and that’s what makes it special. Then, why do we search for true love when we already have it? Because we are blinded by physical beauty.

You’re right…because we’re different. Because we are two people living in two different worlds. I understand what you’re trying to tell me. Believe me, I do. I just think that there are other explanations. It’s funny. Suddenly, I remembered what my friend told me. He told me that we should not look for the perfect person to love and cherish. Instead, if you now found someone you could love and will love you back, we should try to make it work…as much as possible, make it perfect. You know, no matter how hard I try to convince myself, I still end up having the same perception. Though I try to change, the bigger part of me still wins—the part that says…”love is not worth it.”

Voices inside your head are natural, but don’t let it take the best of you, you have your own way of choosing it. Voices outside would also make you wonder. It’s up to you to choose what your heart tells you. I agree with you. Don’t look for perfect love but try make it perfect. Why? Because there’s nothing perfect. Perfect is like a statement, just to say you’re getting there. And trying to make it perfect means making love the way it’s suppose to be. And if you’re gonna ask me what a perfect love is, it is when you fight and love one another. The more fights, the more you get to know someone, which draws you closer to each other. There would be many times when you’d regret falling in love with someone. But hear this, someday you’d regret regretting the love you had. Love is one of the greatest things on earth.

Hmmm…I wish I were like you, you know. I wish I were as faithful to love as you are. I just don’t know what to say anymore. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to you. Should I be happy? Should I be sad? It’s all so confusing now. This thing called love has made me change the way I see things. Just a moment, things may seem so clear—then love comes in the picture to “attack their prey”—everything will be a blur to you. Besides, there’s something that really bugs me about the whole thing…something that the guys do to us girls. I just don’t understand why they have to “brand” the ladies. Some guys, or should I say most of them, have ruined everything I’ve thought about love.

Boys will be boys and girls will be girls. Boys may “brand” the girls, boys may make girls hate them, but listen here, I know one boy who does not do that branding stuff. He makes a girl feel respected. He makes a girl feel happy. It may seem that boys are so sickening, so rude, so stupid…but there are some things that they know and we don’t. I have proven my first statement, “boys will be boys” wrong. Yet I have proven, that in love, they could change. According to my experiences, I was able to change a boy to a man. Not literally speaking, but emotionally. I didn’t fall for this guy but I was able to change him. Through love and respect, the boy became a man and I, a girl, became a young lady. Look at what this love we call can make. It has done many magical things.

Never did I imagine such person who can love people the way you do. I cannot say that I do not believe that there is no love here. Clearly, such love still exists. I have to admit…such love is still alive. It’s not that I do not want to love, my friend. More importantly, it’s not that I don’t want to be loved. I guess it is not yet my time. Maybe I will be able to meet somebody who can truly love me. Though I am so scared to hope against all hope, maybe it is time to do it. I am afraid…I am so afraid to feel love. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m not ready. Is that reasonable, you may ask…I don’t know. Deep inside, there is still a young lady who doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. Here inside me is a young woman who prioritizes the happiness of others and not once thought of her own. Whatever it is that I am taking for granted before, I will try to face now. I know it will be very difficult. Maybe I deserve such difficulty. All I think about now is…”Will I survive such impediment?”

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