|I sit at home alone today|
with sweet thoughts of yesterday.
Never have I felt so much longing
for something or someone I've been missing.
I don't quite understand why
but seems like years had already passed us by.
If only I can reach back to yesterday;
I'd hold onto memories before they slip away.
Have I been so selfish, insensitive and unfeeling
for choosing us a path that was less conflicting?
Why did it have to end this way;
we lost both love and friendship, all in one day.
I'm sorry I wasn't sure where this was going.
Didn't quite know you've been crushing.
Now, I'm lost of better words to say--
I miss you and wish you'd come back to stay.
I never meant to take you for granted
or let your love go unrequited.
I was just too scared to take that awful chance,
lose our friendship over whirl-wind romance.
I miss those days when it weren't an issue,
if you liked me still and if I had liked you too.
Till then it was pure, plain and simple friendship;
not a question about moving forward in the relationship.
But thank you for liking me that much,
wish I had returned the feelings before we lost touch.
However I didn't want to cheat,
say I love you for being so nice and sweet.
If I had told you I like you, the way you want me to,
I would be dishonest and untrue to you;
for it wasn't love I truly felt,
truth is, I want your friendship to stay and not melt.
I am no expert in this love department,
but I know for sure, it's a stronger commitment.
I didn't want to say something I'd regret tomorrow.
Let you love me; and later, bring you sorrow.
The path to love was just too much of a gamble.
You can't even see any of my flaw and foible.
What if I can't be that ideal person you so admire?
Will your friendship stay with me or will it retire?
So I chose our friendship over some experimental love,
cause it was the most familiar thing to me from all choices above.
But since then, you remained distant;
all the friendship we built were lost in an instant.
There are questions that remain unanswered.
Did our friendship to you, ever mattered?
Are you just taking the time to heal?
Or has it all ended, what's the deal?
I just wish you'd come back, my friend.
Let us start all of these all over again.
Can we just forget about what did and did not happen?
Can't explain why, but I'm missing you all of a sudden.
Have I already pushed you away too far?
Did I hurt your feelings so much, it had left you with a scar?
I kept thinking when I first started to lose you?
but it takes me back to this sad feeling, I just miss you!