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| how many more chances? |
| by layla |
| i met him(sal) for the first time in a tution center, a few of my friends told me that he liked me and i ignored it after a few days his friend asked me out and i told him as we were friends and then the next day sal asked me out, i liked him but wasnt in love with him..but still i said yes as he was one of the very few ppl i knew with a nice personality..he was very sweet all along but some how there was something missing i guess it was the lack of love i had for him...a few days later the same friend of his who had asked me out before somehow brought up the topic and i said yea..i would go out with him sal found out the same day..we had a fight and i denied saying yes, so he brought his friend so that i could say it on his face and i could'nt so sal found out i was lieing we had a fight i said sorry to him and he forgave me we started going out agian...then this other friend of his and mine asked me to meet him at night once, i asked sal and he said i should'nt but i still did and some how beacuse of the moment the warm car the songs and his sweet talk..we kissed..and i felt real bad i took a shower twice feeling nothing but dirty all i could think of was what if sal finds out...well he did and i confessed, we had a fight and we broke up..i was having alot of probs at home,with my life,studies everything and i needed to talk to someone and i felt as if sal was my only best friend which he was but he turned me down everytime i tried to talk to him. I was depressed..annoyed and had broken up with a guy i really liked and wanted to be with..this other friend(A) of his/mine asked me out and said all the words that i wanted sal to say i thought maybe this was the guy who really cared..i started going out with him after a few days sal wanted to come back he wanted to give me another chance and so did i..i loved having him in my life..i told him about my current bf(A) and he said it was ok as long as i would break-up with him as soon as i can....i tried and i did we were having the best time ever and i really really liked him, sal ..then one day (A) came to see me and sal found out and he didnt like it we had a fight and we broke up this seemed like the longest time i had been without him i missed him alot and felt as if something was missing inside of me but i wasnt sure if i loved him or not! but all i knew was that her was really special for me and he had alot of room in my heart....we didnt talk and all then one day while i came out after a long swim...i saw (A) and he said he wanted to talk to me..and i was a friend of his after all so we went and sat in his car we talked ..and talked basiclly he wanted to come back...all we did was talk but some how some ppl who saw us made other stories about it... after this the weeks i spent without sal wsa the time i realized the way i felt for him and i wanted to be with him..and so one day we meet and he gave me another chance and we were back together..this time i really wanted things to work out i was ready to forget that there were other guys in this world i felt as if he was the only one for me....when he went out of the country for a lil while..the time he was away..a few ppl told me weird stuff about and some were even ready to show me proof...but some how i didnt belieave anyway cause i knew my sal..after i heard this weird story that all he wanted was to get a chance to sleep with me, and that whatever we did , making out and stuff he would go on telling ppl about it..i was broken and devestated i e-mailed him finishing everything and anything there was between us that was the hardest day of my life i cried for nights felt lonely used and helpless...while this aggresive,rich guy was after me(u)e took pills,he cut his hand he did everything to show me that he really loved me he bought me everything i named..but he knew i really like sal..and so he went up to his house God knows what happened there? but when he told me he went i was amazed he told me that sal said real bad stuff about me..i died...it felt as if everything had finished i hated life myself and everything i tried commiting suicide and ended up in the hospital i felt as if i was all alone...(u) was there all along...i couldnt take the way (u) was after me and the way he forced me to be with him and how everything reminded me of sal....and i knew i loved him i left the country and one day i was chatting i said hi to sal knowing he wont reply but to my surprize he did and we got into a fight after a few days and i got to know that he didnt think of me as a nice gal..but i didnt say anything to him cause iam too in love with him..one day his friend asked me if i wanted him back i said no..because all i want is to see him happy and i knew i was hurting him alot so i said no..i said that also because sal told me not to tell anyone that we talked...but when sal found out he got angry that i lied to him ..that i wasnt talking to his friend,,well the reason why i was talkingt to him cause he knewsal and i could talk to him about him..and some how he sounded like sal....well i misss sal alot and now i know i wont be able to be with anyone else ever....but this guy really loves me and we might even get married in 3 yrs ...well he spoke to my family about geting married to me and they said we will see if in 3 yrs he becomes what he has promise he will and he will be done with his studies and will be able to get a job....but i dont love him because the guy that i really love is sal...i dont know how to tell sal i love him and that iam his and his alone and that iam not all that bad..i dont know how to tell sal that he is the only one in my heart my hearts locked with him inside and some the keys are lost everything reminds me of him..i love him so much i never thought i would fall in love but sal changed it all even if he stops loving me i still will for the rest of my life..i dont know how to tell(O) the guy that wants to marry me that i cant be with him although he knows i dont love him but all he wants is a chance! chance..thats a funny word..if anyone knows what i should do plz e-mail me at if u have any ideas or anything plz do e-mail i need anyone who can help |
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