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| longing for his love!!! |
| by anita |
| I saw him for the first time, that too his photo, on 1st October 2001. When I saw his photo itself I knew that something special was there on him. And I realized it was that something special… I saw him everyday. Each time I saw him, love for him grew stronger and stronger in my mind. But there was less hope for me, since there was a lot of age difference and many other differences between us. I tried to take it as just a teenage crush. But it wasn’t. But then I didn’t know how to express my feelings for him and to whom. I told about this to some of my friends. But what they could do? Then I talked about this to my dad. But there also I failed to express my true feelings. I cried day and night for him without knowing what to do. I decided to wait for the time to come. I truly prayed to God. Whenever I wanted to see him, I got a chance. Whenever I wanted to hear his voice, I got a chance. This gave me more confidence that God is there with me. But I was such a fool to believe that even if I don’t open my mouth, one day he will be mine. Then I knew that before taking any serious decisions, I should get to know him more. Because I hardly spoke to him twice or thrice. Even though I knew him very well he didn’t know me. It was like everybody knows the king but the king doesn’t know everybody. For knowing him better I started writing e-mails to him expressing all my feelings for him. That time he had gone to his homeland for two months. For all my mails I didn’t get even one reply. That two months I realized how strong my feelings for him is. It was really unbearable for me to pass two months without seeing him. At last two months got over. The day he came back I got that shocking news that he got married. I was totally shattered. My whole life seems a big blank for me. Without he I’m incomplete. Again I mailed him asking that could we remain as good friends at least. For that also I didn’t receive any reply. After one month I came to know that, the e-mail id to which I was writing mails was not his id. I was totally disappointed. If it were the correct id he would have been there just by my side now. At least I believe so, because now also I strongly believe that he was the one who was there with me in all my previous births. And I’m sure that he will be there with me in all the coming births too. May be God has separated us for a reason. As he hears true prayers, he might give my love back. I don’t know when. But I’ll wait, for nobody can replace him neither in my life nor in my mind. He’ll be the one forever. Now he’s leading a happy life in front of me without knowing that somebody is longing for his love. I tried to console myself by saying that ‘love is to be happy by seeing that your loved one is happy with somebody else’. But my heart says that if he is with me, he and me will be even happier. Now I’m waiting God to hear my prayer. And I am sure, someday, he will… |
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